This is me, laughing at myself

Hi!

Although I know no one actually reads this, I like to pretend that I am having a conversation with another person, so... Well, whatever. I am so sorry, that this is just a sad, sad post. However, I hope to overcome this sadness with my next post, which, frankly, shouldn't be too difficult.

I haven't accomplished anything I said that I would do over a week ago. :( That's right, none of those knitting projects I wanted to complete or start got any head way. This is me, laughing at myself. Me, a studious procrastinator, trying to stop.

However, I have decided that the best thing for me to do, is just try to post something. That way, I can at least make a start, and somehow, maybe, just maybe, I will be able to smoothly keep it up.

Consistency is key, right? And it is accomplished through many small steps. That being said, I might as well make this space useful. Well, useful to me, maybe not for you.

This me who hasn't really done my knitting or cooking, is sort of disappointing. I've always had problems with consistency. I'm not sure how exactly I can fix this, but I think I can start my setting priorities, and trying to just get up and get stuff done.

I've been rather sluggish and depressed lately. This mostly has to do with grad school, one thing or another, and the perception that some certain people have of me. I want them to have a good impression of me, so I get rather worried when I hand them something for lab, and I freak out. But I saw them today so I feel better. Funny thing, I don't even need them to say good job or bad job, I just need to see them and have them treat me the same as before and I'm suddenly OK. I also realized that I worry a lot. And, frankly, I just said to myself "STOP, right, now breathe. Now, does worrying about something actually accomplish anything? You, know, besides making you feel crummier than a burnt cookie? No? It just makes you feel bad? And suddenly I'm left with the rhetorical question. WHY?

Therefore, here are my goals for the month of January. (Hey, better late than never, right?). And although I've done this once before, I'm hoping that openly putting them here, will aid me in actually accomplishing something. In addition, next time I will be able to talk to you about my goals, and maybe you can take something from seeing me, an inconsistent procrastinator trying to reform, setting these goals.

Goal 1: No worrying!
Goal 2: Knit something before the end of January!
Goal 3: Post at least three more times!

I think I'll keep it to three because then it isn't too overwhelming!

Here's hoping to see you more,

Sarah